Despite the fact that approach is actually one of the least important parts of dating, it usually remains one of the most terrifying for many men.
Lots of guys, especially guys who are shy, suffer from approach anxiety, or who are socially inexperienced, dread approaching women the way I dread the hooded figures from the the dog park Many men wish that women would make things easier by being willing to take the initiative themselves.
There is a great deal of social programming that warns women against being “that girl” – the pushy, clingy or “desperate” guy-chaser who drives men away, and there are many men who react badly to women who are “too forward”. but Look, there’s no getting around this: if you want to be the sort of guy that women approach, you have to put some effort into your appearance.
You don’t have to look like Michael Ealy or Ian Sommerhalder, but if you’re looking like you rolled out of bed and into whatever happened to be on the floor around you, women aren’t going to be inclined to linger in your presence no matter how hot you are or aren’t.
As I’ve said before: there’s being good looking, and then there’s being attractive.
One is about your physical looks and the other is about your overall presentation.
If you want women to be approaching you, you have to pay attention to your style, your grooming and your smell.
A good haircut, keeping any facial hair neatly trimmed and clean, stylish clothes that more approachable than the sloppy-looking guy in the baggy sweatshirt with the stains and the jeans that reek of cigarette smoke with bed-head and three days’ worth of stubble. Because it takes advantage of what’s known as the Halo Effect, a cognitive bias that causes our overall impression of someone to affect how we think about them. This doesn’t mean that you need to be rocking a three-piece suit at all hours, but if you’re going out of the house, you want to make sure to take the time to look sharp.After all, you never know when you might run into someone amazing that you might want to get to know.One of the things I’m always harping on is the importance of body language.We pick up far more information about a person – consciously and subconsciously – from non-verbal cues than we do from just about any other source.If you want women to approach you, then you have to make sure you’re not waving them away with closed off or unfriendly body language. So take a deep breath, hold it for the count of five, then exhale slowly.As you exhale, let the tension drain out of your limbs and shoulders. Imagine an invisible thread attached to the crown of your skull.