You Want Different Things Initially you two were just hooking up but then you developed crushes and moved into a serious relationship.One of you may want things to progress further while the other is still just into late Friday night booty calls.The guy may want to be married in a year while you're happy having fun.
Whatever the circumstance, it's not that the chemistry isn't right, it's just that you want different things out of the relationship.
You're At Different Points in Life Often women think dating an older man is a good thing. The older guy may be already settled down while the woman in her mid-twenties might still be figuring out who she is, what she wants to do for a living, where she wants to live long-term, and more.
An age difference may be one reason you're at different points not just in life but in your relationship--sometimes older men may have already experienced the things you haven't yet done and they may not want to do it again, like kids, getting married, or moving for a job.
I never thought it would hurt as much as it did, because when you break up with someone, it’s because you’re not in love anymore, right? For the first couple years, we were constantly laughing, , playing video games, and tangling up the sheets. Until that moment, his faults seemed like perfect imperfections that I found endearing. Though it was a miserable affair, it was very obvious what needed to happen. I cared about him, and he was one of my best friends.
(Ladies, don’t underestimate the power of defined cheekbones.) And here’s the thing: we meshed so well. By the time we graduated from college in May, we had been dating for over two and a half years.
He was kind, sweet, funny, a real charmer—essentially, everything that I could have wanted in a guy, right down to a pair of amazing cheekbones.
I had been planning our future together, both in my head and out in the open. I didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, I thought. He was a jerk, he treated me badly, we broke up, I moved on, and that was that. But I knew that romantically, we couldn’t be together anymore.
We would move to Philadelphia together, our fingers entwined, looking at apartments together, and talking about how lovely it would be to have one of them to ourselves. Suddenly, I couldn’t see us ever truly connecting in the real world. That realization made my heart sink into the depths of my stomach. There’s a vast misconception in this world, thanks to the good ol’ romantic comedy industry, that those who do the dumping are cold, heartless, and ready to run around and make out with anything that moves as soon as they kick their SO to the curb. But often—at least, for me—nothing could be farther from the truth.
It sounds ridiculous, but it certainly didn’t feel like it at the time. But outside of college, I saw our relationship in an entirely different light. There was a distance between us, a chasm that was widening so rapidly that I was afraid I’d be swallowed up forever.
I found myself having to try harder and harder to connect with him, to be on the same wavelength. I kept thinking that it was a phase, or a hiccup, or a post-graduation relationship rut. I was exhausted from reaching over it, hoping he’d be able to grab my hand to make sure I didn’t fall off the edge.
One minute you're happy and in love, the next he's delivering the "It's not you, it's me" speech. We have the scoop on the real reasons most couples split up.