He began with criticism, went on to name-calling and moved on to physical violence and (probably) murder. “The Loser,” Carver notes, “has very shallow emotions and connections with others.
It’s very important to get away from a Loser at the slightest hint of violence, including verbal aggression, since abuse usually increases in frequency and severity over time. One of the things that might attract you to the Loser is how quickly he or she says ‘I Love You’ or wants to marry or commit to you.
No matter how promiscuous they actually are, they focus their energies on their most desirable targets.Yet, Carver cautions, this seemingly positive sign is, in fact, also negative.It signals shallowness of emotions rather than strength of love.The most important self-defense against psychopathic seducers consists of recognizing the initial warning signals so that you can escape the relationship early on, hopefully before you’re seriously harmed. Joseph Carver has put together a helpful and instructive list outlining the early symptoms of a dangerous relationship with a psychopath, or as he puts it quite aptly, with “a Loser.” As we’ve already seen in the previous account of Drew Peterson’s behavior, not all the signs of psychopathic seduction are obviously negative.But, as we’ll see, even the symptoms that seem positive (such as the instant attachment and over-the-top attention, flattery and gifts) are in fact negative.
Similarly, Carver notes that the Loser doesn’t have to exhibit all of the symptoms listed below to be dangerous.The presence of even three of these symptoms indicates a potentially harmful relationship.Anything above this number points to not just probable, but certain harm.Carver begins by defining “the Loser”: “‘The Loser’ is a type of partner that creates much social, emotional and psychological damage in a relationship…The following list is an attempt to outline the characteristics of ‘The Loser’ and provide a manner in which women and men can identify potentially damaging relationships before they are themselves severely damaged emotionally or even physically.” () 1. “If he or she hits you, twists your arm, pulls your hair, kicks you, shoves you, or breaks your personal property even once, drop them,” Carver advises.As we’ve seen, Drew Peterson escalated the abuse of his partners.