It’s ambiguous in part because they don’t want to risk asking the person and jeopardising the picture that they’ve painted in their mind.It may also be about not wanting to risk the friendship but the problem is that the longer this ambiguity goes on for is the less of a friendship it is.These situations can weigh very heavily on the party who feels emotionally invested and is essentially waiting for the other party to step up and make things official.
Part of you may feel like verbally tearing them limb from limb, especially if it becomes apparent that they’ve been toying with your feelings, but another competing part of you will want to be nice and friendly about things and you may fear looking like a ‘psycho’.Next thing, you’re squashing down your very natural hurt, sadness, and possible anger while they keep trying to act as if that whole you expressing your feelings / them mucking you around didn’t happen.They may even be blowing up your phone so that you can reassure their ego that you’re not mad at them or that they’re not whatever they privately feel their behaviour suggests.one or both parties are being ambiguous why these ‘Whatchamacallit situations’ where people aren’t sure whether they’re “just friends” or whether whatever they’ve been doing is building towards dating or a relationships are happening in the first place.I’m still waiting for that email/comment/story that goes, “Our situation was super ambiguous and we texted / Facebook messaged for months/years and even slept in the same bed / dry humped / did everything but / did everything and still continued being ambiguous and here we are living happily ever after”.
What I do hear plenty of variations of is, This is projecting and it leads to a whopper of an imagination hangover.
Most of us struggle to predict the innermost feelings and thoughts of people that we’ve spent our entire lives around [family] and even those of us who think that we can must be careful of being complacent and assumptive.
If you’ve come up with all manner of excuses for why your ‘Whatchamacallit situation’ is what it is, it’s time to ask: How did you come to know so much about someone who is not expressing words and creating matched actions about the very thing that counts [what’s going on in this ‘relationship’]?
It’s tricky when friends and readers share tales of meeting “quirky”, “eccentric”, “super clever”, “poetic” and other such people who they ‘hang out’ with, talk about “everything”, and typically exchange a hell of a lot of texts and Facebook messages.
Part of me wants to dress up as Whoopi Goldberg’s character in Ghost and say, “Molly, you in danger girl”.
How can they spend so much time around or talking (or tippy tapping messages) to somebody who they say that they talk about “everything” with and yet still have no clue whether they reciprocate their interest and/or are up for a relationship?