I got a lot of grief, in particular, about the fact that I allow men to pay whenever they offer, apparently it makes me anti-feminist.
Digital technology and smartphones in particular have transformed many aspects of our society, including how people seek out and establish romantic relationships.
When we first studied online dating habits in 2005, most Americans had little exposure to online dating or to the people who used it, and they tended to view it as a subpar way of meeting people.
Today, nearly half of the public knows someone who uses online dating or who has met a spouse or partner via online dating – and attitudes toward online dating have grown progressively more positive.
To be sure, many people remain puzzled that someone would want to find a romantic partner online – 23% of Americans agree with the statement that “people who use online dating sites are desperate” – but in general it is much more culturally acceptable than it was a decade ago.
So if the advice to women is good and the advice to men is good, what seems to be the problem here? All that matters is that she got to be snarky about the patriarchy. The gist of it is that, in my experience – having written more online dating profiles (for better or worse) than anyone on the planet – the most important thing you can express in a profile (whether you’re a man or a woman) is what the READER gets out of dating you. And his profile – if it’s well-done – should be about YOU, YOU, YOU.
What really sets the author off is that the tips given to men are more active than passive. Unless you think men should write dull emails or try not to stand out. So really, it doesn’t matter that e Harmony is actually giving good advice that would be generally effective for most men and women. And before I close, I just wrote a newsletter about this concept as well.
Sounds vaguely familiar to the advice that I’ve been giving for nearly ten years. It’s not that women never write emails (although I encourage them to), and it’s not that men shouldn’t be more patient and open-minded. But acknowledging that would completely undermine the vitriol of the piece and the undercurrent of sexism that the author is looking to find.
He deserves your UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.” Anyone want to argue with that advice? And telling women to give guys a break – especially men who aren’t too marketing and online-dating savvy – is also sensible advice.
You want him to feel great about the date, don’t you? As such, giving men tools to stand out when actively approaching women makes sense, since they’re far more likely to be ignored.
Well, what seems to drive the author crazy is that the advice to men and women is . Oh, and in case you doubt the claim that women receive more emails than men, and thus, don’t bear the same burden of being witty and interesting, click here. People who list their resumes still don’t understand that this is not how people connect emotionally to strangers.
Tell the reader how he/she benefits from being in a relationship with you – don’t tell us how damn great you are.
I commented a lot on that article, that particular author sort of drives me nuts.