Jeffrey "Wheels" Dexter Boomhauer III, nearly always referred to simply as "Boomhauer," is a friend of the Hill family and hangs out in the alley with Dale, Bill, and Hank, drinking beer.
He is famous for his rapid, muddled speech pattern, most of which is nearly incomprehensible.
It appears to be genetic, as his grandmother, brother, and other members of the Boomhauer family speak the same way.
Boomhauer is a Texas Ranger, and is a confirmed bachelor with a taste for fast cars, women, and tiger-print bikini underwear. In high school, he had an infamous mid-60s Mustang named "Ms.
Sally," but had to get a new car after Hank, Bill, and Dale accidentally drove it into a quarry while playing a prank on him.
While attending high school with the three others, he played on the football team as the starting quarterback.
His idol is Wilt Chamberlain (probably for both his athletic prowess and for his famous luck with women), and he is allergic to macadamia nuts.
Boomhauer's friends seem to consider him a source of good advice.
He has a good relationship with Hank, but occasionally loses his patience with Dale's insanity and Bill's inferiority complex.
He is frequently the voice of truth and reason in their group, but since you can barely understand what he's saying, these confessions often go unheard (unless another character repeats what he said as though agreeing with him).
He also proves himself to be rather cultured in one episode, he calls Hank "ignorant" after Hank makes derogatory comments about modern art, and references Marcel Duchamp's famous Fountain and Dadaism.
Although considered something of a playboy by his neighbors, in I'm With Cupid, Bobby discovers that Boomhauer’s secret weapon for attracting women is merely barraging women until one finally agrees to go out with him. When his ex-girlfriend Katherine left him and went off to college, Boomhauer spent two days sitting in his hot tub.
Peggy said she has never seen a man so sad and so relaxed than when Boomhauer was nursing a broken heart.
When he meets a jogger whom Bill lusts after, he spent many days (and nights) with her, before he got up the courage to ask her to marry him, offering Meemaw's ring.