Recently, a colleague of mine, a successful psychologist in her mid-30s, confided in me about an ongoing problem she faces in her dating life: She feels that she’s simply too tall for most men, standing at almost six feet.
Tall women who experience romantic discrimination the most are approximately 5-foot-10 and taller.If you take an informal poll of men, you’ll quickly see that many men have little or no interest in dating a tall woman.Extremely tall women are often treated as if they are freakishly tall or Amazonian, as if their height is some sort of mistake or genetic mutation.What’s more, many very tall women engage in a range of behaviors to diminish the impact of their height in order to appeal more to men.For some, they rarely wear heels even if they like doing so; for others, they may make self-deprecating comments about their height in a defensive effort to fit in with what men want. In no way should tall women apologize for their height.
The two traits men are ultimately most attracted to in women are happiness and self-confidence, so it’s important for women’s own self-esteem — and their dating chances — that they feel confident and proud of their body.
The key for very tall women is to figure out which men are open to dating a very tall woman, and which ones are not.
For example, in your online dating profile, don’t be shy about making your height a focus of your profile. — about your physical attributes when you’ve got no investment, rather than anticipating a date but later being let down if he’s not interested in you. It’s also important for tall women to understand that, in light of the many men who are intimidated about dating a tall woman, these women should give themselves permission to approach men they are interested in.
In other words, tall women may have to put themselves out there more than other women who are less intimidating.
The clincher, of course, is to develop thick skin and to not take disinterest or brush-offs from men personally. This is one of the most important exercises that can truly change how you feel about yourself and your body.
How can you get thicker skin about your height when society — and many men — are too intimidated to date a tall woman? For anyone who deals with sex or appearance issues, I always encourage them to be disciplined about getting some private naked time at home.