My 20-year-old daughter is dating a man that I do not like. He is selfish, has had a DWI recently, and just rubs me the wrong way. I did let her know that I love her deeply and want her to keep her eyes open.
His recent DWI understandably leaves you concerned about his maturity and common sense, as well as your daughter's safety.
The fact that your husband and other family members feel similarly about him must create some serious emotional problems for your daughter.
No young adult wants everyone in her family to dislike her boyfriend intensely, unless she feels a need to rebel against or get back at her family for some reason.
I would try to have discussions with your daughter that do not put her on the defensive about being with this young man.
Ask her open-ended questions about him and their relationship that are non-judgmental, shaming or blaming.
Don't put her in a position of having to choose between her family and him.You have instilled your beliefs and your values in your daughter.You need to believe that you have done your job in raising her to make sensible decisions about how and whom to select as a boyfriend.If you do sense that this young man is inflicting any physical harm or mental anguish on your daughter, you need to intervene.If not, it might help if you extended a more welcoming attitude toward this boy and made more of an effort to find out what your daughter sees in him.I'm sure that she told him long ago that you all dislike him, so chances are he feels uncomfortable in your presence.